How to Forgive and Forget

While many people claim to be able to forgive and forget, there is the one little curse which hangs over our heads called memory which constantly reminds us, whenever certain elements line up, of the egregiousness in question which brings back all those horrific feelings. But, there are steps you can take.

Step 1:
Talk it Out: Most of us claim that we will forgive and forget when we have been wronged in one way or another. But it is never as easy as it seems. So if you have been wronged and you are feeling personally violated from this event then perhaps you need to address the issue squarely where it lies. Once you have thought through all your problems with said person or event then you need to sit down and calmly let them have it! You need to yell, you need to cuss, you need to get every last thing off your chest so that you can finally say to yourself that you have said all you need to say on the matter in question.

Step 2:
Keep It to Yourself: After having your rage session the idea will be squarely back in your frontal lobes and you will suddenly feel the urge to bring this issue up at otherwise inappropriate times. If this is your partner, whenever their good friends or relatives are around; out at dinner; in the car. While these may seem like completely logical times to berate someone you care about, this attitude is forgetting the whole deal (forgive and forget) in the first place. Also, brining up an otherwise private matter in public places with random strangers or with close friends is a pretty bad idea, if for no other reason than because no one else knows about it.

Step 3:
Yell at Yourself: While the constant urge may strike you to yell and yell and blame yea who wronged, it should be remembered that there had to have been an underlying impetus, a first instinct, a major issue at play here. So rather than turning it around and dealing with the incident, why don’t you look a little closer at your own involvement in the event from the get go. Once you have taken responsibility for your role in the event, then and only then will you be able to forgive. Next time you are in that same situation, you would do wise to not forget.

Tips on Being a Friend

	Treat your friends the way you want to be treated.
	Keep secrets that are told to you.
	Pay attention when your friend is talking.
	Keep your promises.
	Share things with your friend.
	Tell your friend the truth.
	Stick up for your friend.
	Take turns. “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” — Bernard Meltzer.

Tips on Becoming a Teacher

Good teachers:

 are good at explaining things. Do you like to explain how something works, or how something happened? Being comfortable with explaining content to students is an essential skill for teachers.

keep their cool. There will be times when you will be tempted to scream or yell at your students, other teachers, parents, administrators, and so on. Good teachers are able to successfully resist this urge. 

have a sense of humor. Research has consistently shown that good teachers have a sense of humor, and that they are able to use humor as part of their teaching methods. Humor, used properly, can be a powerful addition to any lesson.

like people, especially students in the age range in which they intend to teach. Most teachers choose an area of specialization such as elementary education, special education, secondary education, or higher education because they have a temperament for students in those age ranges. If you are not comfortable working with young children, don’t major in elementary education!

are inherently fair-minded. They are able to assess students on the basis of performance, not on the students’ personal qualities.

have “common sense.” It may sound a bit corny, but good teachers are practical. They can size up a situation quickly and make an appropriate decision. Whether managing a classroom, leading students on a field trip, seamlessly shifting from one instructional procedure to another, assigning detentions, supervising an intern, or dealing with policy and curriculum issues in the school, there is no substitute for common sense.

have a command of the content they teach. For elementary school teachers, that means having knowledge of a broad range of content in sufficient depth to convey the information in meaningful ways to the students. For secondary school teachers, it usually means having an in-depth command of one or two specific content areas such as mathematics or biology.

set high expectations for their students and hold the students to those expectations. If you are thinking about becoming a teacher, you should set high expectations for yourself, and demand excellence not only of yourself, but your students as well.

are detail oriented. If you are a disorganized person in your private life, you will find that teaching will probably be uncomfortable for you. At the very least, teachers must be organized in their professional and teaching duties. If you’re not organized and are not detail oriented, teaching may not be the best choice of a profession for you.

are good managers of time. Time is one of the most precious resources a teacher has. Good teachers have learned to use this resource wisely.

can lead or follow, as the situation demands. Sometimes, teachers must be members of committees, groups, councils, and task forces. Having the temperament to function in these capacities is extremely important. At other times, teachers assume leadership roles. Be sure you are comfortable being a leader or a follower, because sooner or later, you will be called on to function in those roles.

don’t take things for granted. This applies to everything, from selecting a college or school of education to filing papers for certification. Good follow-through habits should be cultivated throughout life, but they are never more important than during your teacher education program. Read the catalog, know the rules, be aware of prerequisites and meet deadlines. In one sense, you don’t learn to teach by getting a degree and becoming certified. You learn to teach in much the same way you learned to drive — by driving. You learn to teach by teaching, by making mistakes, learning from them and improving. The purpose of  a teacher education program is to get you as ready as possible to learn how to teach by subjecting you to a variety of methods and experiences that have a basis in tradition and research.

All of these qualities define some of the characteristics of good teachers. If it is not your goal to become a good teacher at the very least, perhaps thinking about the above will help you see other career alternatives. A good idea, when first making such a decision, is to talk to teachers. Find out what they do, and what led them into teaching. Do a personal inventory of your own values, personality, preferences and goals. But, whatever you do, don’t go into teaching simply because you love kids!